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Nossa Constituicao !!!

Nos, legitimos representantes e donos do lar, reunidos em assembleia para instituir uma autocracia no mesmo, destinada a assegurar o exercicio de direitos e deveres da dona-de-casa, promulgamos o seguinte:

CONSTITUIÇÃO DO LAR

ART. 1
TODA ESPOSA TEM O DIREITO DE ESQUENTAR A BARRIGA NO FOGAO E ESFRIA-LA NO TANQUE.

ART. 2
TODO DESEJO DO MARIDO E UMA ORDEM.

PARAGRAFO UNICO
E DEVER DA ESPOSA ADIVINHAR E ATENDER TODOS OS DESEJOS DO MARIDO.

ART. 3
TODA ESPOSA TEM O DIREITO DE EXPRESSAR SUA OPINIAO.

PONTO 1
O MARIDO NAO E OBRIGADO A OUVI-LA.

PONTO 2
CASO A OPINIAO SEJA MUITO INTELIGENTE, O MARIDO, NA CONDICAO DE CHEFE DO LAR, ASSUME SUA AUTORIA.

ART. 4
E DIREITO INALIENAVEL DA ESPOSA PROFERIR A DECISAO FINAL EM TODOS OS ASSUNTOS DO LAR COM O SEGUINTE PRONUNCIAMENTO: "SIM, SENHOR!"

ART. 5
FICA EXPRESSAMENTE PROIBIDO A ESPOSA DORMIR DE ROBES, CREMES, PANTUFAS, TOUCAS, BRINCOS, COLARES E SIMILARES, FICANDO A INFRACTORA SUJEITA AOS CORRETIVOS IMPOSTOS PELO MARIDO, DE ACORDO COM A GRAVIDADE DO FACTO.

ART. 6
E DEVER DE TODA A ESPOSA, QUE TRABALHE OU TENHA FONTE DE RENDA, ENTREGAR TODA A SUA RENDA AO MARIDO, PARA QUE ESTE O ADMINISTRE DA MELHOR MANEIRA QUE O ENTENDER.

ART. 7
FICA ESTABELECIDA A FIGURA DE CABEÇA DO CASAL, ATRIBUÍDA DE FORMA INDELEGAVEL AO MARIDO, QUE A ACUMULARA COM O TITULO DE TUTOR PERPETUO DA ESPOSA.

ART. 8
FICAM GARANTIDAS DUAS NOITES E UMA MANHA LIVRES, POR SEMANA, PARA O MARIDO JOGAR FUTEBOL, BEBER COM OS AMIGOS OU EXERCER QUALQUER OUTRA ATIVIDADE EXIGIDA POR SUA CONDICAO DE MACHO.

ART. 9
COM O FIM DE PRESERVAR A TRANQUILIDADE DO LAR, FICA A ESPOSA PROIBIDA DE TER ATAQUES HISTERICOS, CHILIQUES NERVOSOS E OUTRAS FRESCURAS, ASSIM COMO GRITAR DURANTE A SURRA SEMANAL.

ART. 10
A PARTIR DA PROMULGACAO DESTA CONSTITUICAO, TODA ESPOSA PASSA A SER CHAMADA DE " PATROA" OU "MULHER" OU "MINHA VEIA".

PARAGRAFO UNICO:
E FACULTADO A ESPOSA TRATAR O MARIDO POR VOCE, QUANDO POR ESTE AUTORIZADO E EXCLUSIVAMENTE NO RECESSO DO LAR.

ART. 11
FICA ATRIBUIDO AS ESPOSAS A CONDICAO DE PERTENCENTE AO SEXO FRAGIL E MEMBROS INFERIORES DO GENERO HUMANO.

ART. 12
SAO DIREITOS INALIENAVEIS DAS ESPOSAS :
1 - NAO TER DIREITO A NADA.
2 - NAO RECLAMAR DOS DIREITOS QUE TEM.
3 - NAO RECLAMAR DOS DIREITOS QUE NÃO TEM.

ART. 13
ESTA CONSTITUICAO ENTRA EM VIGOR NA DATA DE SUA PUBLICACAO.

ART. 14
REVOGAM-SE TODAS AS DISPOSICOES EM CONTRARIO.
.

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