Foras

 

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36 COISAS QUE VOCE NAO DEVE DIZER QUANDO LEVAR UM FORA

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1. Você se incomodaria de devolver os presentes ?

2. É que eu estou tendo um caso com a sua irmã...

3. É que eu estou tendo um caso com a sua mãe...

4. É que eu estou tendo um caso com o seu pai...

5. Sinceramente, meus amigos não vão com a sua cara.

6. Não é nada comigo, é com você mesmo.

7. Qual é o problema em eu querer alguém mais jovem?

8. Até que demos algumas boas transadas.

9. Tudo nem. Após uma plástica você se sentirá melhor.

10. Longe de mim parecer mesquinho, mas dá para me pagar aqueles 500

reais?

11. Boa sorte com o bebê.

12. Sei-lá o que pesou. Acho que pequenas coisas como o seu hálito..

13. Você é perfeita demais, prefiro as mais sujas.

14. Só deixe as revistas pornô. Vou precisar delas por uns dias.

15. Agora não faz sentido esconder: odeio o seu ronco.

16. Não há dinheiro no mundo que pague uma relação infeliz como a nossa.

17. Por favor, não chore. Você fica ainda mais feia.

18. Pode ficar com as crianças. Aliás elas me irritam.

19. Ódio talvez seja uma palavra forte demais. Digamos que simplesmente

não

gosto de você ou eu esteja profundamente entediado.

20. Caso esteja se sentindo um tanto sozinha, você pode vir me preparar

um

jantar de vez em quando.

21. Antes de ir, deixe o telefone daquela sua amiga loira gostosa.

22. Ouça menina. Eu estou tão arrasado quanto você nessa história. Mas

agora

eu tenho que encontrar o pessoal. Afinal fui eu quem marcou o happy

hour.

23. Sim, existe alguém.

24. Sim, ela é bonita.

25. Sim, ela transa melhor do que você.

26. Não, ela não me amola.

27. Ainda hei de encontrar uma boa mãe para os meus filhos.

28. Pode ficar com o Viagra. Não vou mais precisar dele.

29. Vou sentir saudade desse seu bigodinho charmoso.

30. Todos aqueles orgasmos? Eu fingi.

31. Bem que meus amigos disseram que não ia dar certo.

32. Posso ficar com seu carro um tempo?

33. Porque eu sou gay!

34. Bem, preciso ir. Vou me casar amanhã.

35. Por falar nisso, meu teste do HIV deu positivo.

36. O problema é que nós dois amamos a mesma pessoa : eu.

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