Piadas de Estelionatários

 

Pegaram o cara em flagrante roubando galinhas de um galinheiro e levaram

para a delegacia.

Que vida mansa, heim, vagabumdo ? Roubando galinha pra ter o que comer sem precisar trabalhar. Vai pra cadeia!

- Nao era pra mim nao. Era pra vender.

- Pior. Venda de artigo roubado. Concorrencia desleal com

o comercio estabelecido. Sem-vergonha!

- Mas eu vendia mais caro.

- Mais caro?

- Espalhei o boato que as galinhas do galinheiro eram bichadas

e as minhas nao. E que as do galinheiro botavam ovos brancos

enquanto as minhas botavam ovos marrons.

- Mas eram as mesmas galinhas, safado.

- Os ovos das minhas eu pintava.

- Que grande pilantra...

Mas ja havia um certo respeito no tom do delegado.

- Ainda bem que tu vai preso. Se o dono do galinheiro te pega...

- Ja me pegou. Fiz um acerto com ele. Me comprometi a nao

espalhar mais boato sobre as galinhas dele, e ele se comprometeu

a aumentar os precos dos produtos dele para ficarem iguais aos

meus. Convidamos outros donos de galinheiro a entrar no nosso

esquema. Formamos um oligopolio. Ou, no caso, um ovigopolio.

- E o que voce faz com o lucro do seu negocio?

- Especulo com dolar. Invisto alguma coisa no trafico de

drogas. Comprei alguns deputados. Dois ou tres ministros.

Consegui exclusividade no suprimento de galinhas e ovos para

programas de alimentacao do governo e superfaturo os precos.

O delegado mandou pedir um cafezinho para o preso e perguntou

se a cadeira estava confortavel, se ele nao queria uma almofada.

Depois perguntou:

- Doutor, nao me leve a mal, mas com tudo isso, o senhor nao

esta' milionario?

- Trilionario. Sem contar o que eu sonego de Imposto de Renda

e o que tenho depositado ilegalmente no exterior.

- E, com tudo isso, o senhor continua roubando galinhas?

- As vezes. Sabe como e'.

- Nao sei nao, excelencia. Me explique.

- Eh que, em todas essas minhas atividades, eu sinto falta de

uma coisa. Do risco, entende? Daquela sensacao de perigo, de

estar fazendo uma coisa proibida, da iminencia do castigo. So'

roubando galinhas eu me sinto realmente um ladrao, e isso eh

excitante. Como agora. Fui preso, finalmente. Vou para a cadeia.

Eh uma experiencia nova.

- O que eh isso, excelencia? O senhor nao vai ser preso nao.

- Mas fui pego em flagrante pulando a cerca do galinheiro!

- Sim. Mas primario, e sem antecedentes...

 

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