Piadas de Doenças

 

Um senhor e' internado na UTI de um hospital, por causa de um infarto.

Alguns dias depois, seu estado melhora, e e' levado para um quarto. O

cirurgiao entra no quarto e diz:

- Voce teve sorte. Seu estado agora e' normal. Seu aparelho circulatorio

esta' como novo e voce podera' sair em pouco. Pode, e deve, fazer

exercicios 'a vontade...

No dia seguinte, ao chegar em casa, diz para a mulher:

- Querida, que susto eu passei! Passei muito perto da morte, mas agora eu

estou bem. O medico disse que eu preciso fazer muito exercicio. E eu estou

agora com uma vontade louca de dar uma trepada com voce!

A mulher pensa um segundo e responde:

- Olha, querido. Nao sei se e' razoavel. Voce acabou de sair do hospital.

Eu li no jornal que relacoes sexuais podem desencadear crises cardiacas em

pessoas com tendencias a infartos. Eu gostaria que voce fosse ver o

medico e pedisse explicacoes detalhadas sobre que tipo de exercicio voce

pode fazer.

O sujeito passa no dia seguinte no medico e pede para ele deixe isso por

escrito, ja' que a mulher nao acredita. O medico vai escrevendo:

"Declaro, para os devidos fins, que o senhor Jose' da Silva, meu paciente,

possui um aparelho cardio-vascular em perfeito estado de funcionamento e

pode, se desejar, manter relacoes sexuais pelo tempo que desejar".

- Esta' bom assim? - termina o medico - E qual e' o nome de sua esposa,

para que eu possa colocar no atestado?

- Bem, doutor - responde o paciente - que tal colocar "A quem interessar

possa"?

Manha de Natal. Os dois irmaos acordam e correm para a

arvore ver os presentes. Para o mais velho uma reluzente

bicicleta, para o mais novo, um carrinho de plastico.

Logo, o mais velho comeca a provocar:

- Eu ganhei uma bicicleta, voce nao ganhou...

O outro continuou quieto, brincando com o seu carrinho.

Pouco depois, o mais velho ataca novamente:

- Eu ganhei uma bicicleta, voce nao ganhou...

Ate' que o outro se enfezou:

- Voce tem cancer, eu nao tenho!

O sujeito telefona pra o medico da familia, apavorado.

- Doutor, to ferrado!

- O que foi? - pergunta o medico, com ar preocupado.

- E' que o meu filho pegou uma gonorreia!

- Mas isso nao e' grave! Atualmente, essa doenca e' muito facil de

curar!

- Pois e, doutor! Mas acontece que depois ele transou com a

empregada!

- Entao e' bom avisa-la o quanto antes!

- Mas, doutor! Acontece que eu tambem transei com a empregada!

- Tudo bem, entao o senhor tambem vai ter de se tratar tambem!

- E' que depois disso eu transei com a minha mulher!

- Putz! To ferrado!

 

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