Direito das Mulheres

 

DECLARACAO UNIVERSAL DOS DIREITOS DAS MULHERES

Toda mulher tem o direito de permanecer calada até que um homem lhe

dirija a palavra.

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Toda mulher tem o direito de lavar, passar, cozinhar, costurar, engomar,

sendo ela, e mais ninguém, a verdadeira rainha do lar.

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Toda mulher tem direito ao lazer, podendo permanecer horas fazendo

tricô, crochê, bordados etc...

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Toda mulher tem o direito de ser total e absolutamente fiel ao seu

homem.

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Toda mulher tem o direito ao trabalho, desde que seja doméstico, e, por

extensão, o direito de se atualizar tecnicamente para poder melhor

usufruir de suas ferramentas de trabalho, sabidamente: fornos, fogões,

máquinas de lavar, liquidificadores, enceradeiras, aspiradores de pó

etc...

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Nenhuma mulher deve ser molestada com uma flor. Ecologistas do mundo

inteiro estão se revoltando com essa postura, além do que estudos

científicos recentes comprovam que as flores têm sentimentos e podem

ficar traumatizadas com essa atitude. Em havendo necessidade de punição,

recomendamos o soco-inglês, cuja eficiência tem se mostrado

inquestionável.

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Toda mulher tem o direito de perdoar o seu homem por eventuais momentos

de fraqueza carnal, quer sejam com prostitutas, conhecidas, amigas e/ou

familiares.

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Nenhuma mulher poderá ser privada de assistir a novela das oito, a menos

que o jantar ainda não esteja pronto ou estiver sendo exibida uma

partida de futebol em qualquer um dos outros canais.

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Estando as roupas lavadas e passadas, as crianças bem cuidadas e na

escola, o almoço/jantar prontos, a louça lavada, o chão encerado, os

vidros desembaçados, a cama arrumada, a mulher tem o direito de fazer o

que bem entender para preencher o seu tempo, desde que tenha solicitado

autorização do marido.

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No "Dia Internacional da Mulher", que ocorre felizmente uma única vez ao

ano, a mulher tem o direito de jantar no melhor restaurante da cidade

(desde que tenha efetuado a reserva), de ir ao teatro (desde que tenha

providenciado os ingressos) e de ir a um motel (desde que seu

companheiro não esteja muito cansado), ficando por sua conta todas as

despesas contraídas durante o passeio.

P.S.: Se a sua mulher não estiver fazendo uso de seus direitos, ligue

imediatamente para o Disque Porrada (1-9s-fora) que nós vamos mandar uma

tropa de choque para a sua casa e vamos mostrar para ela quem é que

manda nessa merda de planeta!

 

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