Dilemas de um Macho

 

SÓ LEIA SE VOCÊ FOR HOMEM:


Só um homem sabe o que é...

a dor física e moral de uma bolada no saco.

o incômodo de uma cotovelada no gogó.

a tortura de usar terno em pleno verão.

o suplício de fazer a barba todos os dias.

o desespero de uma cueca apertada.

a paranóia que bate quando a gente começa a ficar
careca.

o vexame de ser enganado pelo mecânico.

o prazer adolescente de soltar um bom arroto.

a loucura que é fingir naturalidade diante de uma
mulher sem sutiã.

carregar um Empire State pendurado no meio das
pernas...

chamar o próprio pinto de Empire State, mesmo que ele
não passe de
uma casinha de sapê.



Ser homem é...

Não ter celulite.

Possuir a superior capacidade de chegar no barbeiro e
dizer apenas:
"Corta aí..."

Conviver com um dos maiores mistérios da vida: por
que colocamos o
pinto para o lado esquerdo???

Viver sob o permanente risco de ter que entrar numa
briga de rua.

Relutar, se fazer de desentendido, mas ter que entrar
na porra da
briga.

Só homem tem saco...

Para sair no meio da festa de aniversário dela para
comprar mais
cerveja.

Para rodar a cidade atrás de um botequim aberto...

Dormir ao lado de uma pessoa com o rosto coberto de
cremes.

Esperar ela se vestir, mesmo quando está quase
perdendo a hora do
cinema...

Conviver com aquela penca de calcinhas penduradas no
chuveiro.

Os estilos de vida masculinos segundo os diferentes
períodos da vida

(os números referen-se às idades):

A BEBIDA PREFERIDA

17 - Cerveja

25 - Whisky

35 - Vodka

48 - Vodka dupla

66 - Remédio para o fígado

A TÉCNICA DE SEDUÇÃO

17 - Meus pais viajaram por todo o fim-de-semana!

25 - Você é a mulher mais interessante que eu já
conhecí!

35 - Minha esposa viajou por todo o fim-de-semana!

48 - Eu me sinto muito só; meu casamento só existe na
aparência!

66 - Minha esposa morreu!


O ESPORTE FAVORITO

17 - sexo

25 - sexo

35 - sexo

48 - sexo

66 - siesta.  Lembrando do sexo.


A DEFINIÇÃO DE UMA "NOITE EXCELENTE"

17 - Foi língua a noite inteira!

25 - Fiquei para o café da manhã!

35 - Ela não conseguiu estragar meus anos de análise!

48 - Não briguei com as crianças dela!

66 - Voltei vivo para casa!

 

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