Piadas de Cirúrgias Plásticas

 

 

Um homem perde as duas orelhas num acidente. O cirurgiao

plastico que o atende implanta-lhe duas orelhas doadas. Um

mes depois, o transplantado volta para uma nova consulta.

- O senhor me implantou orelhas de loira! - exclamou o paciente,

indignado.

- Mas como e' que o senhor sabe? - perguntou o medico

surpreso.

- Facil! Eu ouco tudo, mas nao entendo nada!

Uma mulher foi levada as pressas para um Hospital, direto pro CTI. La

chegando teve aquela quase morte, que eh uma situacao pre coma. Neste

momento, encontrou-se com Deus.

"Que e isso?", perguntou ao Criador, "eu morri?".

"Nao, pelos meus calculos voce morrera daqui a 43 anos, 08 meses, 09 dias e

l6 horas." respondeu o Criador.

Ao voltar a si, sabendo quanto tempo tinha de vida, resolveu ali mesmo na

Clinica fazer uma lipoaspiracao, uma plastica de restauracao dos seios,

plastica no rosto, no nariz, na barriga, tirou todos os excessos, ficando linda e

jovial, tendo alta uma semana depois.

Ao atravessar uma rua, veio um veiculo em alta velocidade e atropelou-a,

morrendo na hora. Ao encontrar-se de novo com Deus, ela perguntou:

"Puxa, senhor Deus, eu achei que tinha mais 43 anos de vida, por que eu

morri logo depois daquela despesa toda com cirurgias plasticas?"

E Deus foi mais perto dela , olhando-a diretamente nos olhos, respondeu:

"Juro que nao lhe reconheci!"

A garotinha até que não era de se jogar fora, mas não estava nem um pouco

satisfeita com o tamanho dos seus seios. Nisso uma amiga diz pra ela:

-Conheço uma clínica onde eles resolvem o seu problema. Vai na clínica

Santa Helena. E lá se foi ela. O médico lhe disse que a operação era

revolucionária e que os seios se adaptariam às suas necessidades. Fez a

operação e quando chega a hora de desenfaixar...

- Droga! Fui tapeada. Meus peitinhos continuam do tamanho de uma azeitona!

E foi tirar satisfação com o Cirurgião:

- Mas senhorita, eu não lhe disse que eles se adaptariam às suas

necessidades? Basta você comprimir os cotovelos contra o tórax que eles se

"adaptam".

Ela foi para a frente do espelho, juntou os cotovelos e "tóin!", os

peitinhos ficaram do tamanho de um mamão. Empolgada, ela vai a uma boate

para experimentar. Fica a fim de um cara e fica toda sem jeito para dar

mole. Sabe como é que são aquelas gurias tímidas, né? Chegou perto do cara,

juntou os cotovelos e perguntou (Aquela frase super "original"):

- Não te conheço de algum lugar ?

O cara vê os seios dela crescerem e responde..

- Deve ser da clínica Santa Helena (juntando os joelhos)!

 

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