Piadas de Chineses

 

Tortura chinesa

     Um homem se perdeu no meio da China. Passou 3 meses
     dormindo em cavernas e comendo plantas, passando frio e fome.
     Um belo dia ele avistou no alto de um monte uma enorme casa
     chinesa. Correu em sua direção e bateu a porta. Abriu-a um senhor
     chinês de longas barbas brancas que perguntou o que o
     esfarrapado rapaz desejava.

     - Estou há mais de 3 meses perdido pelos campos, dormindo em
     cavernas frias e comendo plantas. Por favor, eu gostaria de uma
     cama limpa, um lugar para banhar-me e um prato de comida
     decente. Estou muito cansado e faminto.

     O velho chinês ponderou e falou:

     - Eu lhe ofereço um quarto limpo, um banheiro, roupas limpas e
     uma nobre refeição. A única condição e' que o senhor não faça
     nada a minha neta.

     - Claro, senhor. O senhor realmente e' um homem bom.

     - Se acontecer alguma coisa a minha neta, o senhor sofrera as três
     piores torturas chinesas.

     - O senhor pode ficar tranqüilo.

     Então o rapaz tomou seu banho, vestiu suas novas roupas e
     desceu para jantar. Foi sentar a mesa, olhar para a jovem neta
     chinesa do velho avo chinês e se apaixonar. Além de maravilhosa,
     ele sentiu que o interesse era mútuo. Paixão a primeira vista.
     Pensou em silêncio:

     - Há 3 meses não vejo uma mulher, e com certeza essa noite valerá
     qualquer sacrifício, mesmo essas 3 piores torturas chinesas.

     De noite foi ao quarto da jovem e teve a noite mais incrível de sua
     vida.

     Ao acordar, sentiu um grande peso sobre o seu peito. Abriu os
     olhos e viu uma enorme pedra sobre seu peito. Nela estava
     escrito:

     "Primeira grande tortura chinesa: grande pedra sobre peito."

     Bem se for assim, tudo bem. Ergueu a pedra e conseguiu lançá-la
     pela janela próxima a cama. Foi quando ele viu uma linha amarrada
     à pedra.

     Em uma outra face da pedra estava escrito:

     "Segunda grande tortura chinesa: pedra amarrada ao testículo
     esquerdo."

     Desesperado com a situação o rapaz se atirou pela janela atrás da
     pedra. Foi quando pode ver escrito numa terceira face da pedra:

     "Terceira grande tortura chinesa: testículo direito amarrado ao pé
     da cama."

 

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