Piadas de ASSASSINOS

A CIA abriu uma vaga para assassino. Como se pode imaginar, a coisa é muito delicada, tudo debaixo do maior sigilo e cuidado. Afinal, pro mundo inteiro, a CIA não trabalha com assassinato, mas... Foram semanas de testes e exames, tudo muito exaustivo, mas, para uma posição dessa, todo cuidado é pouco.

Finalmente, os responsáveis selecionaram 3 finalistas: dois homens e uma mulher. Como era uma vaga só, havia o teste final para escolher o melhor dos três. O chefão chamou um dos homens, levou-o até uma porta de aço fechada, deu a ele um revolver e disse:

- Precisamos saber que poderemos contar com você sempre, independente das circunstâncias. Você vai entrar nessa sala. Sua esposa vai estar lá, sentada, e você vai atirar nela com este revólver. O candidato ficou estarrecido:

- Você só pode estar brincando! Vê lá se eu vou atirar na minha esposa!

- Bom, nesse caso, você não serve para o emprego. Adeus. Depois, o chefe chamou o 2º candidato e repetiu tudo com ele. Quando ele ouviu que ia ter que atirar na mulher, ele empalideceu, vacilou, mas entrou na sala e fechou a porta. Depois de uns 5 minutos de silêncio, ele sai, devolve a arma e diz:

- Olha, bem que eu tentei, mas não consegui atirar na minha mulher. Acho que não sirvo pra esse emprego.

- Não serve mesmo. Leve sua mulher para casa e adeus.

Finalmente chamaram a candidata e repetiram tudo com ela, dizendo que ela deveria atirar no marido. Ela pegou a arma, entrou na sala, e mal a porta se fechava, ouviu-se o som de 13 disparos. O chefe ficou satisfeito. Mas aí começou uma barulheira incrível, coisas batendo nas paredes, no chão, um verdadeiro inferno. Dez minutos depois ela saiu, toda suada e ofegante e reclamando:

- Pô! Vocês encherem meu revólver com balas de festim! Não tive outro jeito a não ser bater nele com a cadeira até matar!

E aí, o emprego é meu?

 

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